"...standing, standing, intending to walk..."

Tuesday and Wednesday we retreated with some monks for Buddhist meditation. Now, I've been learnin' about Buddhism with the Boss Lady and doin' meditation at Dhamma Park. So I had the sittin' meditation down. Then they went all "mindful" on us...and everything we did had to be mindfully with implementation and intention steps/movements. Quite frankly, I'm not a large fan of "mindfully sitting down." "Mindfully standing up" isn't an issue. Walking meditation, on the other hand, was probably the most aggravating experience I have yet endured in my twenty-four years of living. After six years of military training and living with my dad practically my whole life--"Standing................standing....................standing....................intending to walk...............Walking......................walking................walking.....................right foot...............goes...........thus...............left foot..................goes..................thus................" is probably the most inefficient activity which to me seemed to accomplish no purpose whatsoever except aggravate the hell out of me. Now, the periods that I inserted into that quote do not beginning to illustrate the slow motion and 'mindfulness' of the walking motion in which we participated. As I am standing there...and the monk is explaining to me that I am standing (which I've gathered ironically--"I'm not laying down?...No, obviously not. My back does not feel the pressure from gravity pulling my weight downward, only my feet. Ah ha! That's what standing feels like." -Yes, I had sarcastic thought that I tried to telepathically send to a Buddhist monk. Pathetic and uncharitable--I know. Nevertheless...) So my mind and intention are in my feel as the monk is coaching us. Standing....we feel our feet on the ground...small ants nibbling away at my flesh....dehydrated mosquitos quenchin' their thirst via my blood, [all the while it is about 9pm at night and I'm super tired]...I can feel every muscle, bone, tendon, t.d. in my foot...and I am preparing myself to intend to walk. Intending to walk....now we are walking...the muscles in my legs physically alert my foot that it should remove itself from the ground in a very grandma-ish speed. Foot is lifting ever so slowly...once the foot is lifted...we have to mindfully analyze the current posture which we hold...monks apparently have stealthy, cat-like agility and balance. All the while...we are still "mindfully walking"...so then the foot "goes" and my leg is helping my foot in its grandma pace move from slightly above the ground parallel to my hip and shoulders to slightly above the ground twelve inches forward. Finally--as my feeble attempt at graceful, monk-like balance my foot falls to the ground as the monk says, "thus." All the while, the entire group (representing eleven differing nationalities: Germany, Belgium, Scotland, England, Canada, Holland, Thailand, Laos, Burma, Cambodia, and U.S.A.) is chanting along rhythmetically with our monk leader in a very cultish manner. Honestly, I've never been so frightened in all of my life. We continued to do this walking meditation up and down the pad for what seemed like hours on end but in all actuality was only twenty to thirty minutes. I cannot express to you how different military drill and ceremonies is with this torturous Buddhist walking meditation. But--I thoroughly enjoyed the laying down meditation which required no such slow pace movements with cult-like chanting. Instead, you lay down on your back. Place your hands between your chest and your stomach. And you concentrate on the breath flowing in and out of your body. In order to stay awake, you must try to count your breathing with a roser-ish bead necklace (containing approximately 108 beads of a wooden variety). The object of the meditation is to focus on one thought and to clear the mind of all other thoughts (overcome the "monkey mind"). But do not mistake the aim: you do not suppress your thoughts or feelings, you must let them naturally arise. Observe the thought, feeling, or emotion--and "let it go." The mind must be clear so that enlightenment can come upon you as it did the Buddha himself. This is how one personally becomes a buddha. [That's why people wai each other in Thailand, they are wai'ing the buddha within the other person.] I cannot say that I became enlightened on the retreat. Attempting to be silent for twenty-four measly hours was rather difficult and undesirable. Another fun aspect of the retreat was the ritual chanting to the "Triple Gem" (the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha). We chanted in Pali (written in English script) to All Living Beings, and for the food. I loved the musical presentation of the chanting. The grounds were beautiful and well-kept. My only real complaint was that Ajahn Boon Chewy told us not to bring anything but our person because everything would be provided. Yeah--everything EXCEPT towels, soap, toothpaste or brushes, or toilet paper. Before we recognized this tragedy--Kimi offered to take the first shower...she stood in there naked and wet while I frantically searched the quarters for a towel...to no avail. So she used her t-shirt as means of drying herself. All the while I opted not to wet myself with the water. Bathing (not that you can call getting wet in a shower bathing...that usually requires soap), rather the lack thereof, will not kill someone for one day. I'm livin' proof! Tah Dah!

I was born on a Tuesday. Therefore, this position of the Buddha (the different days symbolize the different positions and methods he used to meditate in order to become enlightened) is the one that I would pay money to or give offerings, etc.

Morning offerings to the Buddha which the ants gladly devoured. This was also when we got to give alms to the monks. That's a neat tradition. Every morning at the butt-crack of dawn, the monks will walk meditatingly down the road with a bowl and the townsfolk will come out and give them foodstuffs to sustain themselves. I want to get up early in Lamphun and see the procession there.

The searching gaze of the big Buddha.

Worshipful, reverent elephant statue.
Cute monkey statue fanning the big Buddha.
The Buddha in Wednesday Night through Saturday positions with a gang of farangs communicating via body language near Saturday Buddha.

The Pad where we walking meditated and the front gate towards which I seriously considered runnin' to save my soul. It was too late, plus I was afraid of snipers.

Sunday through Wednesday Day Buddha positions.
Meditation mats on which we sat that helped my right leg fall asleep in eleven minutes versus the usual ten. ;] They were actually quite comfortable. We laid in the back of the room during laying down meditation so as not to point our lowly feet at the Buddha in the front of the room.

I think I want a Buddha painting like this. It's simple yet captivating.

Chanting to the "Triple Gem." Go ahead, practice out loud. :)

Chanting for All Living Beings.

Food chant. You'll probably want to skip this one if you've eaten anything gluttonously and for shear pleasure. Someone suggested that marrying a monk would be horrendous because you have someone present to always make you feel guilty.

Lucky eleven. My bunk for the night that I shared with Kimi. Also the number of minutes it takes my right foot to fall asleep during meditation. That's one thing I can focus on--my sleeping foot.

My wooden key, me, my bed in lucky room eleven. I know this photo is something resembling me in a psych ward. Don't worry, my mental health is still in acceptable conditions. I think?

Awesome vine tree with wise Buddha teachings.

These girls are from Holland. That guy is from Scotland.

Utah gang.

Girls from Holland.

We were having a question, answer, discussion session. The other half of the group was in another session with other monks. The monk here on the left is from Laos. The one on the right is from Cambodia. They were a hoot. Some day ask me about the dog story.