Companionship vs. Love

The day after I watched this movie with my friends (great show by the way! Watch out for language and a few shock factors such as Jenny's butt and the head of a baby crowning while a lady gives birth) I was really pensive. I'm usually a loud, bubbly person. Whenever I'm not...everyone thinks something is wrong with me. Normally not the case. This particular day I was just introspective and pensive.

As a single, twenty-five year old, Mormon girl--it occurs to me on a regular basis that I am not married nor have I any children. In other words, I'm a modern day spinster.

The reason why I'm probably still husband-less is because I'm so darn picky. Eternity is a long time. And I only have one chance to get this right. None of that three strikes and you're out business. Plus I haven't felt the support or approval from God that I think I need.

Some say that it's just my decision. God trusts me to exercise my agency. And whoever I chose He will approve of. On the other hand, my Mom and friends say that I'll "just know". And the one time I thought I "knew" he went and married someone else. So it all boils down to two simple variables: 1) I don't trust myself and/or 2) I haven't received any divine manifestations as of yet.

As I watched The Back-Up Plan (I just love it when people love each other!), I was very romanticized by the way Hollywood portrays love and intimate relationships. The storyline goes as follows:
*Boy meets girl.
*Girl blows boy off.
*Boy is smitten by girl and pursues.
*Girl denies boy.
*Boy tries harder.
*Girl finally agrees to date boy.
*Boy woos girl.
*Girl falls madly in love with boy.
[*Boy and girl fight.
*Boy and girl make up.]
*Boy and girl love each other unconditionally and endlessly forever and ever no matter what.
P.S. Love connection goes down in a maximum of two weeks' time.

Oh yeah, and boy is stinkin', smokin' hot Mr. Tall, Dark, and Ripped Handsome. Not to mention that in this specific portrayal...he's also a farmer (and Irish). Livin' off the land is hot. (I want to be Amish when I grow up. Sue me.)
The reason this plot appeals to me so much is because I'm pretty impatient. The time frame in which I am looking to meet my spouse is...um,....YESTERDAY! Hello! Why ain't I married yet?!?! And since boy and girl meet and fall in love and live happily ever after in only two weeks' time...that's right up my alley. I'm sure this could all come true if you aren't as practical and analytical as me.

Not to mention that I'm not particularly romantic. That's one of the reasons why this story line is so unrealistic (in my opinion)--it's too romantic and too quick. The relationship doesn't have an adequate foundation which can support and sustain an eternal companionship.

Now that's something I want. My mission spoiled me good. At the time I didn't always think so. No alone time EVER. Not even in the bathroom because your comp.'s language study sheets are all plastered to the wall. Nevertheless, you ALWAYS had a friend. Someone to encourage you. Someone to laugh at your jokes. Someone to tell you stories. Or give you hugs. Or be the shoulder you needed to cry on. Or play with you! Ooooo! Yeah! Someone to play with you! To jump on the bed with you. Or play connect the dots. Or take pictures. Or contacting games. Or cooking experiments. Or pigeon watching/feeding. Or kick the ice block back and forth. Or discuss the Gospel with. Or to pray together. Or to eat together. Or to climb trees. Or do arts and crafts with. ...I could go on and on and on.

A companion is more than a lover. When you're good looks fade and you get all wrinkly, when you're six pack turns into a keg, after you've birthed several children and there's a fat chance that you'll NEVER fit into a size six ever again, when you go poo and stink up the house...or when you have diarrhea when you're on vacation and have to sit by the toilet in the hotel instead of soakin' up the rays at the beach...and even in those spiritual ruts and dark times when you think you've lost your testimony or you question the faith...in all of these instances a companion will still be by your side. These are the times when your lover will flee to find 'you' only twenty or thirty years younger. Seems like this normally happens between 38-42. However, a companion will love you more than the day (s)he married you, will think that you are more beautiful than anyone or anything that has ever graced this earth, will finish your sentences and your thoughts, will motivate you to be better than you are just by being who (s)he is, and will never think twice about being yours and only yours. A companion is more than a lover because a companion is a lover and a friend. That means you will communicate often and openly with each other. The sex will never get bad. The conversations will never dull. And the fun of togetherness will never cease. Because the love of companionship is eternal. It lasts longer than this life (and it requires a lot of hard work and commitment) and doesn't end in divorce or at death.

And that's the real reason why I'm still single--because I'm looking for a companion and not a lover. More than a summer romance, I want an eternal companion--an eternity of summer romances....and autumn romances, and winter romances, and spring romances. ;)

However, my impatience has almost enticed me to go to a sperm bank...just like Zoe in the story. She's about 30 years old. She always figured that by this time in her life she would be married to the man of her dreams with a few children. But lo and behold, she's still single and childless. So Zoe decides to take matters into her own hands--she decides to have a baby (with sperm that is from a red-headed, freckly man). Then she falls in love with Stan and finds out that she's pregnant!
The only thing holdin' me back from the sperm bank is my firm belief that children deserve to be reared in a home/family with two loving, caring parents. Plus my nephew and niece keep me content...for now. ;)