Then my Bishop told me that I wasn't happy. He challenged me to take a "break" from the relationship and give the dating scene one more shot. He committed to me to go on two dates that week and head to the YSA Conference in New Orleans that weekend. So I went on a few dates here and there with some guys from the YSA Group in our Ward and headed out to NOLA.
I was a little late to the Conference because I wanted to go to the Temple in Baton Rouge and see if I could get any guidance there. When I made it to the Conference, I felt really weird... I was surrounded by tons of recent (female) high school graduates and a few recently returned missionary (males). Here I am--27 years old. OLD!!!!!! (Comparatively...)
When class let out, everyone dispersed for the break before the next round of activities began. Most of the people had gotten to New Orleans the night before and had already met everyone and organized their sleeping arrangements. I was completely in the dark. But a group of boys in the lobby invited me to go to the mall and hang out with them.
We all smashed into Steven's little SUV. I was the only girl. I wasn't sure where all the girls went off to or what they were thinking!!! Don't you go to a YSA Conference to meet single members of the opposite sex? Their loss.
We walked around the mall and the boys took turns 'speed dating' me (or so it appeared...or maybe I speed dated them?!). One guy would walk with me and let me ask him questions/get to know him while the other boys looked at random stuff (video game store, etc), then I'd talk to another boy and it continued that way until I talked to all of the gentleman in the group. I don't remember being particularly interested in any one of those boys--but thinkin', "Man! I am old! What am I even doing here?!?!"
We squeezed back into Steven's SUV and had somehow managed to pick up one or two more boys that found their way to the mall and needed a ride back to the Church. So I ended up half-sitting on this skinny kid's lap while he was smashed up against the door. [SPOILER ALERT: This poor soul would someday become my husband!!!]
I do not remember what exactly happened when we got back to the Church. Was there another class/lesson or did we go straight to dinner? I cannot recall. Either way, I remember eating dinner. Again, I was the only girl at the table. A whole bunch of guys came and sat down by/with me. Even that poor kid that I squished coming back from the mall. Must be a glutton for punishment, eh? His name was Xavier and we talked at length. I was excited that he came to sit by me and even more excited and hopeful that he might even like me...or was at least interested in me. [NOTE: I'm normally an idiot when it comes to guys and dating. I never know if a guy is interested or just being nice. I'm one of those girls that needs to be told blatantly, "I like you. Do you like me?"] At this point, I do not think that I was super interested myself, I just wanted someone else to be interested in me.
Dinner was followed by a dance. I always hate this part of conferences. I always feel really awkward and dorky...plus it starts getting late and I get tired and grouchy. I'd prefer service projects and firesides, but I guess other people enjoy the dance more. Anyhow, this was a great opportunity for me to sit back and watch to see which guys liked which girls and vice versa (and to see if anyone was truly interested in me)! It seems like the song ratio was one fast song to one slow song. I was asked to dance on a few occasions. Most of the music was really 'modern'--which basically means that I had only been listening to stuff on my iPod which hadn't been updated since I got it as a gift and put the original playlists on it. So most of the fast songs seemed like "jumping" songs--meaning that the only kind of dancing should be jumping up and down. I just kept thinking to myself, "What are these kids listenin' to these days? And who is D.J.ing this gig?!"
Anyhow, I discovered that I may be a little interested in Xavier when I noticed that he kept trying to get this girl (recent high school graduate) to dance with him...and it was clear that she did not want to dance with him because she was glued to this chair making goo-goo eyes at this other boy who had no clue what was going on. Xavier would come and ask the girl to dance, grab her hand, and try to pull her out on the dance floor and she would pull away, say something to the effect of "maybe later", and sit back down. Each time his eyes got pouty (sp?), his head would drop, and his heart would be completely broken. Part of me was slightly jealous and decided not to like him at all because he was clearly interested in someone else. The majority of me was just sad for him. Poor fellow. :(
Towards the end of the dance, Xavier came and asked me to dance. During this encounter I learned that he was a performer and took several ballet classes. So I had him teach me a few things. We ended up hanging out for the rest of the night while I uncoordinately tried to do some ballet moves. haha.
Xavier actually rode to the Conference with Steven (owner of the small SUV). They were from Lafayette. So by the end of the night, I decided that I would ask Xavier in the morning if he would ride back with me from the Conference to keep me company since Lafayette was on my way back home.
The next morning during breakfast Xavier came up to me and asked me if I would like him to ride home with me so I wouldn't have to be alone for the drive. Score!! Then he proceeded to sit far away during the rest of breakfast and did not even sit by me during Sacrament meeting. I couldn't figure out what was going on?!
Then we drove together. Which was pleasant because there was a bit of traffic in New Orleans and/or Baton Rouge--so it made the drive faster. We talked the whole way home. I dropped him off at Steven's parents' house where his car was parked and we exchanged numbers. One of us called the other once I was back on the highway and he talked to me the rest of the way home since I still had a little ways to go.
We ended up texting back and forth and talking the rest of the week until the next weekend when we went on our first unofficial date on a tennis match and then to eat at The Rocket Drive-In. Mmmm. I remember thinking Xavier had gorgeous brown eyes and really attractive calves! ;) That was a Friday afternoon. The next day he drove back to Jennings and we stayed up all night laying on my parents living room floor talking. That was the first night that Xavier held my hand.
Every weekend from that Conference when we first met to the weekend of our marriage we were inseparable. Usually we would meet up in Jennings because it was halfway between Lafayette and Sulphur. Sometimes he would come visit me and we'd do something with the YSA in Texas or go on a date in Lake Charles. Sometimes I would go to Lafayette and we'd go on a date there. He was coaching a little girls' volleyball team in Crowley, so I'd go a cheer his team on.
* * * * *
I still did not have peace about my other relationship and decided to call it quits after the 'break' was over. I was not sure where Xavier and I were going, if anywhere at all. But I decided to trust Heavenly Father because I was happy and I was having a lot of fun!
Xavier and I started talking about marriage early on and he was debating on whether or not to go on a mission after he graduated from UL. He would be 25 then and was worried about being out for 2-years. He said he wanted to serve a mission, but he wanted to start a family more. Jokingly, I suggested that we get engaged and he could donate some sperm at a sperm bank; I would write him during his mission; and 7 or 8 months before he got home I would have the sperm implanted so that when he got home we could get married and then a month or so later our first child would be born. ha ha ha. We ended up taking a L-O-N-G road trip together out to Utah for General Conference. He was wanting more direction and I wanted to support him in any decision that he decided to make.
So at the beginning of October we went to General Conference. We had a GREAT time! The road trip was incredibly long and wearisome. But we did it and our relationship survived New Mexico (such a dreadful state to drive across)! It seemed to me that several talks from Conference were about missionary work and serving. I kept urging Xavier to go. He was praying and fasting quite frequently. A few weeks later he surprised me with an engagement ring! Xavier was in the middle of a semester at UL and would have a break in December and then would finish completely with school in May after one last semester. We decided to get married in December (even though it was so quick) because neither of us wanted to spend the next semester and a half driving back and forth on the weekends to see each other. The drive was getting long and seeing each other 1-2 out of 7 days a week was not enough!
2 comments:
Sondra, you aren't 27 years old - you're 27 years young :-)
Hope you got my communication of February 12, 2012 with the music video.
ID Forever! Be Proud To Be An American!
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