Companionship vs. Love

The day after I watched this movie with my friends (great show by the way! Watch out for language and a few shock factors such as Jenny's butt and the head of a baby crowning while a lady gives birth) I was really pensive. I'm usually a loud, bubbly person. Whenever I'm not...everyone thinks something is wrong with me. Normally not the case. This particular day I was just introspective and pensive.

As a single, twenty-five year old, Mormon girl--it occurs to me on a regular basis that I am not married nor have I any children. In other words, I'm a modern day spinster.

The reason why I'm probably still husband-less is because I'm so darn picky. Eternity is a long time. And I only have one chance to get this right. None of that three strikes and you're out business. Plus I haven't felt the support or approval from God that I think I need.

Some say that it's just my decision. God trusts me to exercise my agency. And whoever I chose He will approve of. On the other hand, my Mom and friends say that I'll "just know". And the one time I thought I "knew" he went and married someone else. So it all boils down to two simple variables: 1) I don't trust myself and/or 2) I haven't received any divine manifestations as of yet.

As I watched The Back-Up Plan (I just love it when people love each other!), I was very romanticized by the way Hollywood portrays love and intimate relationships. The storyline goes as follows:
*Boy meets girl.
*Girl blows boy off.
*Boy is smitten by girl and pursues.
*Girl denies boy.
*Boy tries harder.
*Girl finally agrees to date boy.
*Boy woos girl.
*Girl falls madly in love with boy.
[*Boy and girl fight.
*Boy and girl make up.]
*Boy and girl love each other unconditionally and endlessly forever and ever no matter what.
P.S. Love connection goes down in a maximum of two weeks' time.

Oh yeah, and boy is stinkin', smokin' hot Mr. Tall, Dark, and Ripped Handsome. Not to mention that in this specific portrayal...he's also a farmer (and Irish). Livin' off the land is hot. (I want to be Amish when I grow up. Sue me.)
The reason this plot appeals to me so much is because I'm pretty impatient. The time frame in which I am looking to meet my spouse is...um,....YESTERDAY! Hello! Why ain't I married yet?!?! And since boy and girl meet and fall in love and live happily ever after in only two weeks' time...that's right up my alley. I'm sure this could all come true if you aren't as practical and analytical as me.

Not to mention that I'm not particularly romantic. That's one of the reasons why this story line is so unrealistic (in my opinion)--it's too romantic and too quick. The relationship doesn't have an adequate foundation which can support and sustain an eternal companionship.

Now that's something I want. My mission spoiled me good. At the time I didn't always think so. No alone time EVER. Not even in the bathroom because your comp.'s language study sheets are all plastered to the wall. Nevertheless, you ALWAYS had a friend. Someone to encourage you. Someone to laugh at your jokes. Someone to tell you stories. Or give you hugs. Or be the shoulder you needed to cry on. Or play with you! Ooooo! Yeah! Someone to play with you! To jump on the bed with you. Or play connect the dots. Or take pictures. Or contacting games. Or cooking experiments. Or pigeon watching/feeding. Or kick the ice block back and forth. Or discuss the Gospel with. Or to pray together. Or to eat together. Or to climb trees. Or do arts and crafts with. ...I could go on and on and on.

A companion is more than a lover. When you're good looks fade and you get all wrinkly, when you're six pack turns into a keg, after you've birthed several children and there's a fat chance that you'll NEVER fit into a size six ever again, when you go poo and stink up the house...or when you have diarrhea when you're on vacation and have to sit by the toilet in the hotel instead of soakin' up the rays at the beach...and even in those spiritual ruts and dark times when you think you've lost your testimony or you question the faith...in all of these instances a companion will still be by your side. These are the times when your lover will flee to find 'you' only twenty or thirty years younger. Seems like this normally happens between 38-42. However, a companion will love you more than the day (s)he married you, will think that you are more beautiful than anyone or anything that has ever graced this earth, will finish your sentences and your thoughts, will motivate you to be better than you are just by being who (s)he is, and will never think twice about being yours and only yours. A companion is more than a lover because a companion is a lover and a friend. That means you will communicate often and openly with each other. The sex will never get bad. The conversations will never dull. And the fun of togetherness will never cease. Because the love of companionship is eternal. It lasts longer than this life (and it requires a lot of hard work and commitment) and doesn't end in divorce or at death.

And that's the real reason why I'm still single--because I'm looking for a companion and not a lover. More than a summer romance, I want an eternal companion--an eternity of summer romances....and autumn romances, and winter romances, and spring romances. ;)

However, my impatience has almost enticed me to go to a sperm bank...just like Zoe in the story. She's about 30 years old. She always figured that by this time in her life she would be married to the man of her dreams with a few children. But lo and behold, she's still single and childless. So Zoe decides to take matters into her own hands--she decides to have a baby (with sperm that is from a red-headed, freckly man). Then she falls in love with Stan and finds out that she's pregnant!
The only thing holdin' me back from the sperm bank is my firm belief that children deserve to be reared in a home/family with two loving, caring parents. Plus my nephew and niece keep me content...for now. ;)

Devastation: So I'm a Drama Queen. Who knew?

This is the story of Reba. Reba is my car. She's a 1991 Ford Tempo. And she's red. No, seriously--R-E-D. Outside's red, inside's red. You just can't escape the redness of Reba.

As I was getting ready to graduate from University, I was looking for a vehicle. Initially, I was heels over head in-love with the yellow Nissan Xterras. They are beautiful! I found a blue one and his seller. However, the bank didn't want to fork up the money without a co-signer. I didn't want a co-signer for several reasons. So when push came to shove, I didn't get the loan. :(

I knew that I needed some mode of transportation to get me and everything I owned back to Louisiana from Utah. I paid my tithing in full every paycheck. I said my prayers and told Heavenly Father my need. I searched online at ksl.com and craigslist.org.

Finally at the very last minute--after graduation even! I went to test drive a Ford Explorer. It was the perfect size to haul all of my crap (turns out I'm a pack rat...). The seller was asking a little more than I wanted to pay. So I prayed about it. Then I stumbled upon Reba. I met the seller (she listed it as my "Dave Ramsey Car"). Gave her a test drive. Went home to pray about it. Felt great. Decided to buy her. Bought her.

Reba has been a champion. No, literally. A champ. She drove up big mountains in Utah and Colorado. She fared the wind and tumble weeds in New Mexico. And she survived the ginormity of Texas. She somehow managed to preserve the life of my fish, Killer and my strawberry (which Lena later ate) and aloe plants. In addition to me and my mother, Reba packed down half of everything I own.

By now I hope that you can tell how much I adore and love Reba. She cost $800.00 and has paid for herself in the last four months that we've been together.

Now let me tell you a little more about Reba: She spoils me. No joke. Reba came with cruise control. I had never really used cruise control before I met Reba. Now I'm addicted. It's terrible. I should be more self-reliant. But I'm spoiled all because of Reba.

This past week my cruise control went out. I was (and still am) devastated! How can anyone (especially ME!!!) live without cruise control?!?! When I bought Reba--she didn't (and still doesn't) have air conditioning. Being the cold-blooded person that I am...I didn't see any reason why I needed to pay to fix the A/C when I could roll down my windows for free. Every now and again I sweat...and sometimes I look a little unkempt when I arrive at Church or work...but no one really cares since I rarely brush my hair anyhow...and I always wear deodorant. My Dad has offered to pay to get my A/C fixed. And my Mom keeps mentioning it to me every time I go to visit her in Jennings. But there's no sense in me or someone else spending money when it's almost cold time anyways.

To most people, a broken air conditioner would be a HUGE deal. I mean, people start breakin' a sweat when the temperature elevates above 70 degrees. In that type of weather I need a light jacket. ;) But my cruise control broke! I don't know what to do. It threw off my whole routine of driving. It even caused me to postpone my trip to Baton Rouge (a 2.5-3 hour drive) last weekend.

See I love cruise control 1) because I have gotten used to having it and have established a routine in speed and travel. Plus 2) it allows me to kick up and relax while steering.
I can text on my phone or talk...or really get into singin' along with the radio...or totally just daze out and have a conversation with God. Radio off and I jabber away.

The great thing about cruise control is that it prevents me from getting lots of tickets from diligent patrolmen. You see, I inherited my lead foot from my Momma. (Heaven forbid I have to put my foot on the accelerator in the first place! Sheesh!)
Without cruise control, I get easily distracted and forget about my speed. Before I know it I'm doing 76 in a 55! Or sometimes I end up doing 32 in a 55! With all this crazy fluctuation in speed, Reba is just chuggin' gas by the gallons. And money doesn't grow on trees!

So I did a little research to see why my cruise control got broken. Turns out that the speed sensor was all jacked up! So my Uncle Marty ordered me a new one and is gonna install it this week! Yippee! Now driving to Jennings (1-1.5 hours) won't be such a hassle...let alone driving home everyday after work (yes, I use cruise control on my ride home...all the way out on Oberlin Hwy 7 miles--told ya Reba spoiled me!). Hallelujah!

YSA Conference: "Lift Where You Stand"

Last weekend there was a Young Single Adult Conference in Beaumont, Texas. Turns out that Beaumont has the closest Singles' Ward to DeRidder (1.5 hours away...while Baton Rouge is 3 hours away). My plan was to attend their ward/branch. But as soon as I moved back home I had a call waiting on me (which I've enjoyed every minute of because I love our girls and Polly is so fun to work with!)

Anyhow, the YSA Conference was the first opportunity that I had to get over to Texas and meet more southern Mormons my own age. I love all my friends at home. But there's just something about being around people that have a similar belief system that you have. President Hayes said that it's because Mormons are gathering people. They like to gather together.

So at first I was super nervous about going to the YSA Conference because I'm the only YSA in my ward...which meant that I would be going alone to the Conference and wouldn't know anyone there. Then Jordan found out about the Conference. I didn't even think about tellin' her because she's in Young Women's. But she did just graduate high school and is moving off to college next week. *Sob* So we car pooled together (which was a great idea since Reba doesn't have A/C and the south is blazin' hot this time of year). Two other girls came from the Alexandria area--Laura and Shawna. They are basically crazy. They made a pact on the drive up there (I did not participate in this weird bonding ritual...I was solely the driver) that they would all find a boy to kiss. Apparently that's why the girls of the Alexandria Stake have a more negative reputation.

Anywho, we arrive at the Institute Building on Friday evening ready to watch a movie and have good times. After the initial stage of awkwardness, I had a blast. We even introduced the game "Ninja" to the crowd--as always, my take charge personality came out. Sometimes I can succeed in suppressing it. But it's just so dominate. ;D We played a few rounds of pool, ate some pizza. Got hit on by a few....guys....not really my type. But what do ya do? Then the ice breakers and fun began. We played "Do You Love Your Neighbor?" bahaha. As soon as it was annouced I could only contain myself. This was an Angliiskii Klub favorite with Viktor and his love for Miss Hill! Ah hahahaha!

After the Friday night shin-dig, we headed over to Emily's house. [Disclaimer: I am extremely biased. However, I speak nothing but facts concerning this girl and her family.] Emily was the organizer-extraordinaire for the Conference. I heart, HEART, H-E-A-R-T her. She is such a sweetie pie! She and her boyfriend, Calvin are the most adorable people ever. And it turns out that I met her brother, David at BYU. As the SSA President I made several announcements in all of the sociology classes. David was in one of Ben's classes. Small world. David sacrificed his bed for me the entire weekend. What a champ! And he has the most amazing room EVER! There were shelves and shelves of social theory and philosophy that just made me want to sit down and read forever. *sigh* Turns out most of those books belong to their older brother, Edward who is just as cool as the rest of the Jeters. Yeah, their whole family is so stinkin' awesome! I recommend them to all. People can't get any better than the Jeters.

Saturday rocked my world. We had a service project that entailed taking pictures of headstones in a cemetery for the purpose of digitizing to the entire genealogy world. Pretty amazing.

Calvin, Emily, Jordan, and Yours Truly about to head out for the service project (the only picture I took the WHOLE Conference...except the headstones which = 135 pictures).

After the service project (it was deliciously gorgeous outside! The weather was superb!) we went to the Hayes' for lunch and a pool party. Their house is a mansion. No joke. I walked in and immediately tucked my hands towards my chest so as not to touch anything valuable and break it. The whole while I was thinkin' that we could feed all of Africa for ten years if we sold this place. It was incredible. The kind of stuff you imagine in Hollywood. Antiques and paintings gallore. An outdoor, underground pool. Pool house that is air conditioned. Outside bathrooms. An area that services as a basketball court, a volleyball court, and a tennis court. HUGE. Turns out that President Hayes is Doctor Hayes. So if you want that lifestyle, medicine is where it's at, friends.

And they have a trampoline. Love.

After all this excitement, we headed to the Church to set up tables and chairs. I keep tryin' to convince Jordan to marry David because I think he's such an awesome kid. Actually, someone should marry all of the Jeters because they are that magnanimous. Just sayin'. After set up, we went home. I took a short nap while the girls fought over hot water in the shower. (Turns out I stayed out past my bedtime several nights in a row. That taxes a body, FYI). My short nap gave me the energy to withstand the rest of the evening. We didn't get home 'til almost 1 a.m. Dang Gina. I'm a rockstar! Stayin' out all night and not even gettin' grouchy once. What a trooper! ;D

When we arrived back at the Church, dinner was being served (thanks to all of the families that helped feed us all weekend long!). [P.S. We were all sitting at the table eating and conversing when Nicolas proclaims that he isn't eating his garlic bread and asks for a piece of gum. I then turn to inquire why he needs the gum when he promptly replies that garlic bread is a marriage killer. Ba hahahaha. Maybe that's why I'm still single?! I ate the garlic bread. ...Or it could be that I sat at the corner of tables while on my mission in Russia...? Who knows.]

After dinner, there was an awesome fireside where the Mission President and his wife spoke to us. I appreciate that it wasn't the traditional YSA topic of "Get Married Right Now!" The theme was "Lift Where You Stand". I felt like I was on my mission again. Almost. I was so overwhelmed with the Spirit that after the meeting I scurried off to a closet and prayed. I really loved being a missionary. The plan is to serve my second mission come April. I'm not married. So it's totally in the works. I'm stoked.

Then there was a dance. I'm a geek. Through and through. Dances aren't my thing. I enjoyed being at the dance at Youth Conference in New Orleans because I could dance when and if I wanted to. But it was so much more fun to stand out and 'supervise'...which entailed a lot of analysis of the kids' interactions. Poor dears. Since I had three young ones with me, it was convenient to stand out and ensure that they were dancing appropriately. I did, however, get asked to dance on several occasions which was both nice and flattering. Through the course of events I also learned a valuable lesson as a sociologists: first impressions are not necessarily accurate indicators of personality types. I've always known this. It was just reconfirmed to me. I guess I got a little too cocky in my sociology skills.

Sunday was an awesome day! Church was incredible. Linger longer was excellent. Turns out there was food there...and I like to eat. Everyone was so nice. Several of the ward/branch leaders came up to me and were like, "So, I hear that you're moving into our area!" Yeah, I wish! I guess I have one of those loud, outspoken personalities that stands out. I don't know what would give me that impression or anything. But it bothers me when people that I don't know already know who I am and come up to me and call me by name. That's why we should all wear name tags. It would make life so much more simpler. It's funny how that happens at a YSA Conference. But then at work I can memorize the names and faces of 115 kids and they always call me either "Teacher" or "Ms. Marina"....haha. Oh the irony!

So the weekend rocked my socks. The Jeters are an awesome oppossum family that I adore. And I did not want to come home after three days of fun filled adventure.