Things {People} that Go BUMP [not necessarily in the night...]!!!

Werehavinababy Itzasurprise!!!

My best friend, Casey taught me how to do "Natural Family Planning." Xave and I wanted to start our family right away once we were married, so I started charting my cycles, temperatures, and mucus a few months before hand.

I ovulated around the 7th of January and wasn't supposed to start another cycle until the 21st or so. On the 19th I was shopping at Fred's with my Mom and Edith and excitedly told them that I thought I was pregnant (Xave already knew that I thought I was pregnant and we were both hoping!) but that I still had a few more days to find out. Mom, however, was so excited that she insisted on buying a pregnancy test to see. I was willing to just wait because I didn't want to spend the money.

Mom rushed me home and demanded that I complete the test right away. I took the test and Mom said it read "positive!" I was skeptical though (I didn't want to get my hopes up just in case it wasn't true) because the line was very faint. Luckily, Mom had bought the two pack and insisted that I wait the few days to take the test when I was supposed to start my next cycle.

After a few days I took the second test which had similar results (only the line was slightly darker)...so now I was a little more convinced. I was told that the only thing that can make the line appear is the "pregnancy hormone"...so if you aren't pregnant then there is no way a line will show up at all. This contributed to my conviction. Xave, however, was still very skeptical. Mom was ecstatic, but she said she knew from the first test that I was pregnant.

I got online to calculate my due date which was estimated at October 1st. (I'm hoping for September though because we have so many birthdays/anniversaries in October in my family as it is).

I wasn't in a big hurry to see a doctor right away. Partly because I had no idea who to see. Originally I wanted a midwife, but did not want a home birth for my first child just because I didn't know what to expect out of my own body, etc. But there weren't really any midwives in the region. There is a birthing center in Lafayette, but they did not accept my insurance. :( So I was looking for a doctor that would be very supportive of natural birth. Several people recommended Dr. David Darbonne at Lake Charles Memorial Hospital--Gauthier campus. So I called and scheduled an appointment with him.

When I was 10-weeks along, we went to our first appointment. We got to ask the doctor lots of questions and he seemed really nice. We got to see the baby during the ultrasound which just confirmed for me that I was pregnant (I hadn't started being nauseous yet or anything). Xave was more of a 'I'll believe it when I see it' type and he wasn't telling his family until he knew for absolutely sure that we were having a baby.

We affectionately named our baby, "Big-head." That that's what we've called him (the gender is actually a SURPRISE, I just always refer to Big-head with masculine pronouns) since we first saw him fluttering around in there.

I think the pregnancy was hard for Xave at the beginning (and probably still is, but he's so wonderful) because I was always nauseous and exhausted. I slept for most of the first trimester of my pregnancy. And my nausea was very mild but constant and annoying. I had no appetite at all, and when I did eat I just wanted very plain foods--rice, potatoes, etc. Why I think it was so hard for Xave (which it may not have been) was because I didn't "look" pregnant (no big belly)...I still looked like normal, ol' Sondra--so what really could have been 'wrong' with me?!?! But for me--NOT as an outside observer--I could get out of bed in the morning and walk to the bathroom and be completely exhausted and winded. So my routine generally consisted of going to work, getting home by 6pm every day and crawling into bed. 

I always thought that when one gets pregnant, her belly grows and then she has a baby...the end. I was really naive about all of the changes, effort, and energy that a body undergoes to grow and develop a child. All in all my pregnancy has been very easy and mostly pleasant. I just hated the first trimester and thought it was completely terrible and wasn't sure if I'd like to have a second pregnancy. But once I hit the second trimester everything was wonderful! My energy and appetite came back and the nausea went away! HOORAY!!! Even the third trimester is pretty nice. I'm starting to get a little more tired again--and am sometimes uncomfortable being so big--which is really just the bigness in and of itself--I've never been this big before.

During week 19 I felt the baby move for the first time. A few weeks before hand I thought that I might have felt the baby, but I wasn't sure. But during week 19 I was absolutely positive!!! Xave said he couldn't feel it for a very long time. He said it felt just like my stomach gurgling or something. He said he was at a disadvantage because I could feel it internally as well as externally with my hand. Now the baby stretches, squirms, and kicks all of the time. Big-head is quite the show-off! At our appointment this week, he was moving all around for the nurse and the midwife and the night before he kicked Xave all night long! hahaha. Our baby is very active. I know that I'll have my hands full once Big-head arrives!

When we were in our old, one-bedroom apartment I didn't even want to think about baby stuff because we were so cramped. We had our own stuff boxed up and piled up everywhere. I didn't want to add any baby stuff to the mix--and I didn't want to move any extra stuff that we didn't have to once Xave graduated and we figured out where he would be working--and where we'd be moving to (if it'd be a different state, etc.) But Xave has since graduated and gotten a job with IBM and we are moved into a lovely two-bedroom apartment. So Big-head has his very own room (almost...it is also my junk/storage and craft room...right now...until Big-head arrives).

Ever since I wanted children I've wanted to do the nursery in a Noah's Ark theme--which is actually very difficult these days since it isn't a very popular nursery theme. So finding bedding is a little difficult. But I've been working on stuff a little bit here and there. My Mom gave us Peyton's old crib, and she bought the bumper pads and animal sheet. I made the quilt from some fabric I found at JoAnn's and the curtain. Now I am working on the crib skirt. My step-mom, Carol, gave me several Noah's Ark knick-knacks and pictures from her dining room (they are redecorating and want a new theme). I found a shelf this week at Goodwill that I can put some of the stuff up on. I just need to get it hung. There are a few more projects on Pinterest that I want to complete, like the felt animal pillows and the animal tails hook rack thingy. So pictures are to come once I get things a little more organized and finished. But for now...

 

 (Quilt Fabrics)

  

(Curtain and bedskirt fabric)

 

(Quilt...I may go back and hand stitch around the boats)

 

 (Crib set up)

I have made my "thank you" candy/gift bags for my support team and the hospital staff. Oh yes! One of the other awesome things that we got in our move (in addition to more space at home) is a midwife! Ochsner Medical Center here has a birth center (in hospital) [with birthing tubs!] and midwives! They have doctor's on staff...but doctor's only intervene if there is an emergency (and I'm a low risk pregnancy). So we are pretty excited about that and I have already submitted my birth plan and it was approved! Hooray! Another thing we gotta do is pack our hospital bags--so if you have any tips or suggestions on what to pack just let me know! I don't want to pack our whole house and bring it along, but I don't want to forget something 'necessary' either.

Ok...now I'm gonna try this thing that my friend, Emilie put on her blog:

How far along? 33 weeks, 4 days

Stretch marks? Not that I've found...

Sleep: Pretty decent.

Best moments this week: Big-head showing off for the nurse and midwife with all of his kicking and squirming about.

Movement: Almost constantly! Big-head is in "transverse" position which means horizontal in my stomach. His head is on my left side and his feet are on my right side.

Nursery: In progress.

Food cravings: Been wanting to go to a Mexican restaurant and Xave took me to this wonderful Mexican buffet last night called "El Magey!" It was SOOOOOOO delicious!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope.

Symptoms: I'm giant and I waddle!!!

Wedding rings on or off? On. My fingers have been swelling slightly, so a few nights have have slept without it.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! Have only been 'crappy' once my entire pregnancy. This week though I've been very 'emotional' and have wanted to mostly stay at home and snuggle with my Honey-Bunny!

Looking forward to: My parents were supposed to come to town this weekend to go to Blue Bayou...but they aren't gonna make it now. :( Mom and I were gonna do maternity pictures finally--but that has been postponed again.

Recent thoughts: I've been able to really bond with Big-head through daily story time, music, conversation, and touch. I love how he is becoming more aware of us and responding to our proddings. I've been praying to be more appreciative of the changes and capacity of my body to develop life (instead of complaining and being depressed at how fat I am) and I am being blessed with feelings that Big-head is truly miraculous. I am excited to finally meet our little 'surprise', however, part of me knows that I will miss this time pre-children when I am free and my husband and I are alone together.

Down on TWO Knees!!!

Xave invited me to watch a volleyball tournament at UL on a Monday evening. I wanted rotisserie chicken, so after the tournament we drove around looking for chicken and couldn't find much of anything besides Popeye's. I remember ordering a 4-piece chicken strip meal with red beans and rice. He drove us to a quiet little spot on campus to have a moonlit picnic under the stars. We sat on this bench that circled a tree and both of us were worried that the birds in the tree were going to poop on us or our food. I was disappointed to find that I only had 3 chicken strips. Xave was willing to drive back to Popeye's to get me my other chicken strip, but we checked the recipe and the cashier had rang up a 3-piece instead of a 4. :( So I just ate what I had. The fried chicken didn't really satisfy my craving for rotisserie anyway.

After we finished eating, Xave kept insisting that we go on a walk. Of course, I would have enjoyed the walk--but I didn't want to put him out because I know how much he hates pointless, aimless walking. So I kept telling him no. He persisted and I finally gave in. We started out on our walk hand-in-hand and did not get 25 yards from our picnic bench when we have a conversation something like this (not direct quotes):

"I love you, Sondra!" -Xave

Me- "Are you sure?"

"Of course! Do you want to know how sure I am?" -Xave

Me- "Uh-huh..."

**At this point Xave gets down on both knees and pulls a box out of his pocket [he never opens the box...], he has one arm wrapped around my waist, hugging me and the other hand is holding the box.

"I love you so much that I want to spend the rest of eternity with you. Will you marry me?" -Xave

**Xave hands me the box.

Me- "I love you, too! Yes!"

**We proceed to hug and kiss each other for an extended period of time. I don't think that Xave ever opened the ring box. He just handed it to me. I made him get up off the ground. I put the ring on to see how it fit. He escorted me back to the car and we drove off--not even finishing our walk. haha!

 

 

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(now I am)

Xave picked the ring out all on his own. He knew that I didn't like silver and that I did not want a huge diamond that I would eventually get my hair tangled in or gouge out my eyeball with.

A Whirlwind Romance

I was tired of being single and had an on again/off again relationship with a really great guy. We were committing to marriage and I wanted to jump in with both feet and get it over with because dippin' my toe in the water was only causing me serious anxiety. I still did not have confirmation from Heavenly Father that He supported my decision. So I finally decided for myself--obviously He trusted me enough to make my own choice in the matter.

Then my Bishop told me that I wasn't happy. He challenged me to take a "break" from the relationship and give the dating scene one more shot. He committed to me to go on two dates that week and head to the YSA Conference in New Orleans that weekend. So I went on a few dates here and there with some guys from the YSA Group in our Ward and headed out to NOLA.

I was a little late to the Conference because I wanted to go to the Temple in Baton Rouge and see if I could get any guidance there. When I made it to the Conference, I felt really weird... I was surrounded by tons of recent (female) high school graduates and a few recently returned missionary (males). Here I am--27 years old. OLD!!!!!! (Comparatively...)

When class let out, everyone dispersed for the break before the next round of activities began. Most of the people had gotten to New Orleans the night before and had already met everyone and organized their sleeping arrangements. I was completely in the dark. But a group of boys in the lobby invited me to go to the mall and hang out with them.

We all smashed into Steven's little SUV. I was the only girl. I wasn't sure where all the girls went off to or what they were thinking!!! Don't you go to a YSA Conference to meet single members of the opposite sex? Their loss.

We walked around the mall and the boys took turns 'speed dating' me (or so it appeared...or maybe I speed dated them?!). One guy would walk with me and let me ask him questions/get to know him while the other boys looked at random stuff (video game store, etc), then I'd talk to another boy and it continued that way until I talked to all of the gentleman in the group. I don't remember being particularly interested in any one of those boys--but thinkin', "Man! I am old! What am I even doing here?!?!"

We squeezed back into Steven's SUV and had somehow managed to pick up one or two more boys that found their way to the mall and needed a ride back to the Church. So I ended up half-sitting on this skinny kid's lap while he was smashed up against the door. [SPOILER ALERT: This poor soul would someday become my husband!!!]

I do not remember what exactly happened when we got back to the Church. Was there another class/lesson or did we go straight to dinner? I cannot recall. Either way, I remember eating dinner. Again, I was the only girl at the table. A whole bunch of guys came and sat down by/with me. Even that poor kid that I squished coming back from the mall. Must be a glutton for punishment, eh? His name was Xavier and we talked at length. I was excited that he came to sit by me and even more excited and hopeful that he might even like me...or was at least interested in me. [NOTE: I'm normally an idiot when it comes to guys and dating. I never know if a guy is interested or just being nice. I'm one of those girls that needs to be told blatantly, "I like you. Do you like me?"]  At this point, I do not think that I was super interested myself, I just wanted someone else to be interested in me.


Dinner was followed by a dance. I always hate this part of conferences. I always feel really awkward and dorky...plus it starts getting late and I get tired and grouchy. I'd prefer service projects and firesides, but I guess other people enjoy the dance more. Anyhow, this was a great opportunity for me to sit back and watch to see which guys liked which girls and vice versa (and to see if anyone was truly interested in me)! It seems like the song ratio was one fast song to one slow song. I was asked to dance on a few occasions. Most of the music was really 'modern'--which basically means that I had only been listening to stuff on my iPod which hadn't been updated since I got it as a gift and put the original playlists on it. So most of the fast songs seemed like "jumping" songs--meaning that the only kind of dancing should be jumping up and down. I just kept thinking to myself, "What are these kids listenin' to these days? And who is D.J.ing this gig?!"

Anyhow, I discovered that I may be a little interested in Xavier when I noticed that he kept trying to get this girl (recent high school graduate) to dance with him...and it was clear that she did not want to dance with him because she was glued to this chair making goo-goo eyes at this other boy who had no clue what was going on. Xavier would come and ask the girl to dance, grab her hand, and try to pull her out on the dance floor and she would pull away, say something to the effect of "maybe later", and sit back down. Each time his eyes got pouty (sp?), his head would drop, and his heart would be completely broken. Part of me was slightly jealous and decided not to like him at all because he was clearly interested in someone else. The majority of me was just sad for him. Poor fellow. :(

Towards the end of the dance, Xavier came and asked me to dance. During this encounter I learned that he was a performer and took several ballet classes. So I had him teach me a few things. We ended up hanging out for the rest of the night while I uncoordinately tried to do some ballet moves. haha.
Xavier actually rode to the Conference with Steven (owner of the small SUV). They were from Lafayette. So by the end of the night, I decided that I would ask Xavier in the morning if he would ride back with me from the Conference to keep me company since Lafayette was on my way back home.

The next morning during breakfast Xavier came up to me and asked me if I would like him to ride home with me so I wouldn't have to be alone for the drive. Score!! Then he proceeded to sit far away during the rest of breakfast and did not even sit by me during Sacrament meeting. I couldn't figure out what was going on?!

Then we drove together. Which was pleasant because there was a bit of traffic in New Orleans and/or Baton Rouge--so it made the drive faster. We talked the whole way home. I dropped him off at Steven's parents' house where his car was parked and we exchanged numbers. One of us called the other once I was back on the highway and he talked to me the rest of the way home since I still had a little ways to go.

We ended up texting back and forth and talking the rest of the week until the next weekend when we went on our first unofficial date on a tennis match and then to eat at The Rocket Drive-In. Mmmm. I remember thinking Xavier had gorgeous brown eyes and really attractive calves! ;) That was a Friday afternoon. The next day he drove back to Jennings and we stayed up all night laying on my parents living room floor talking. That was the first night that Xavier held my hand.

Every weekend from that Conference when we first met to the weekend of our marriage we were inseparable. Usually we would meet up in Jennings because it was halfway between Lafayette and Sulphur. Sometimes he would come visit me and we'd do something with the YSA in Texas or go on a date in Lake Charles. Sometimes I would go to Lafayette and we'd go on a date there. He was coaching a little girls' volleyball team in Crowley, so I'd go a cheer his team on.

* * * * * 

I still did not have peace about my other relationship and decided to call it quits after the 'break' was over. I was not sure where Xavier and I were going, if anywhere at all. But I decided to trust Heavenly Father because I was happy and I was having a lot of fun! 

Xavier and I started talking about marriage early on and he was debating on whether or not to go on a mission after he graduated from UL. He would be 25 then and was worried about being out for 2-years. He said he wanted to serve a mission, but he wanted to start a family more. Jokingly, I suggested that we get engaged and he could donate some sperm at a sperm bank; I would write him during his mission; and 7 or 8 months before he got home I would have the sperm implanted so that when he got home we could get married and then a month or so later our first child would be born. ha ha ha. We ended up taking a L-O-N-G road trip together out to Utah for General Conference. He was wanting more direction and I wanted to support him in any decision that he decided to make. 

So at the beginning of October we went to General Conference. We had a GREAT time! The road trip was incredibly long and wearisome. But we did it and our relationship survived New Mexico (such a dreadful state to drive across)! It seemed to me that several talks from Conference were about missionary work and serving. I kept urging Xavier to go. He was praying and fasting quite frequently. A few weeks later he surprised me with an engagement ring! Xavier was in the middle of a semester at UL and would have a break in December and then would finish completely with school in May after one last semester. We decided to get married in December (even though it was so quick) because neither of us wanted to spend the next semester and a half driving back and forth on the weekends to see each other. The drive was getting long and seeing each other 1-2 out of 7 days a week was not enough!