The Society of Relief

Our Stake received tickets to the General Relief Society Conference this year. So Marta and I headed to Salt Lake City after a morning of volunteering at the Utah Community Food Co-Op down at Centro Hispano in Provo.
There was no better way to celebrate this event than going out to a Russian restaurant before the Conference. Our first try was "Little Russian Restaurant" in Midvale, Utah. Apparently Russian cuisine wasn't too popular in that part of town for they were replaced by a Sushi grill. So next restaurant on the list was "Arbat." (I called ahead to ensure that they were still operating.) We get there and ordered from the menu: pelimeni and blinchiki with strawberry-banana flavored kefir. Yum!
We were the only people there. We had to wait about ten minutes while the nice Armenian ladies cooked our food...and we got to see Armenian music videos. The food was delicious when it came. I don't understand why we don't make our food taste like that. It's so incredibly delicious.
We arrived to our destination and quickly changed into our skirts. Herding towards the Conference Center was a bit of a hassle...but well worth the effort! We were seated on Balcony 3 at Entry J. Fun times! The first time I ever went to the Conference Center was for a Musical on Temple Square with Renee Flemings(?) singing. Lane invited me. I believe it was December 2005g.?
Sisters Julie B. Beck, Silvia H. Allred, and Barbara Thompson of the General Relief Society Presidency spoke as well as President Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the First Presidency. Here are a few of my inspired notes:

• There is MORE to be done! Fulfill your purpose like NEVER before!
• The Holy Ghost will show me ALL things whatsoever I should do.
• Increase my offering!
• "When the opportunity presents itself, you will be prepared and ready!"
• Help is needed most often in our own homes and neighborhoods.
• The [Relief] Society is not to relieve the poor but to save lives.
• The glory of God is intelligence!
• We need to step up now more than ever! Live up to your privileges.
• Heavenly Father is a God of creativity and compassion. We should emulate these qualities.
• What you create doesn't have to be perfect! Don't let fear stop you!
• You will improve not only the world around you--but also and especially the world within you.
• Service and Sacrifice opens the windows of Heaven and Christ smiles down upon you. They add substance to your soul.
• Those that bring sunshine to others cannot keep it from themselves.
  
• Be an instrument in the hands of the Lord to answer another's prayers.
• HAPPINESS IS MY HERITAGE!

After the Conference concluded we made our way back to the car and struggled with our navigation skills to locate the Cheesecake Factory! We finally found the restaurant. I was privileged to meet Marta's best (guy) friend, Vance. Funny character! The kid is a hoot! Melody came also! She's so precious! And Vance's co-worker, Nicole! We had a blast. Our waitress had been workin' since 9 a.m. Poor thing!
We finish eatin' our cheesecake (a food of the gods...) and we debated on going Disco Skating with Lane in Sandy. So I called him up to get directions. Melody insisted that we were going. 10 p.m. at night...??? Really? Awww...ok. But then Marta layed down the law and said she needed to get some readin' done! Woo-hoo! I was dead tired anyway. Yeah to sleep!

If you can't DODGE it, RAM it!

The adventures never seem to cease...almost, but not quite. A week after the Burrito Grande tried to kill us...another attempt was make on the lives of Marta and me. It was 7:45 a.m. and we are cruisin' on the way to school. We were driving on University Avenue which connects Provo and Orem. Along University Avenue is a paved path for runners and bikers. Out the corner of my eye I see something running along when I realize that the object is coming closer to the highway. I thought it was a runner until I turned my full attention towards the shrubbery. The runner was no runner at all! But a DEER! So I exclaim to Marta: "MARTA!!! DEER!" She slams on the breaks, but a collision seems inevitable so she swerved into the median/turning lane. The deer (this was no innocent Bambi, friends. She definitely had suicide in mind!) hit the front passenger's headlight and flew directly over the vehicle. Now, the good news is that the damage was minimal and that the deer did not decide to come into the car with us through the front windshield. Thank our lucky stars no one else was around...otherwise we could have...or the deer could have hit them also! (*phew*)
The emergency lights go on as we park on the side of the road and inspect the damage. Bumper dented, headlight busted, front passenger fender slightly pushed back (to create a loud popping noise everytime the car is opened.) The deer is laying in the lane of oncoming traffic. This Avenue happens to be a very frequented area. I knew we'd have to remove the deer. I had the smart idea of walking over there to drag the deer to the ditch ourselves...but once we saw the deer flailing about wildly! She wasn't dead! Now, I'm terribly grateful that I didn't act on my first impression to be a good citizen. If I had gone over there to drag the deer across the road...and as I grabbed her legs--she came back to life...I would have crapped ALL over myself!
Now the question still remained: The deer's gotta get out of the road. Who's gonna move her? We've established that she can't get up and walk away. That's out of the question. Also out is me movin' her. Nope...no way. Okay, more options? Aha! The police!
Now I ask myself, not rhetorically: Do you call 911 for a deer in the road? So I called Mrs. Nancy. She sent Bro. White to inspect us and the car...and she called the police. So Bro. White comes and we are waiting in the car for the cops to arrive (it was FREEZING outside!) when we look out the rearview mirror and see two mysterious men appear out of nowhere...they drag the deer out of the road. The grass was pretty overgrown, so we could no longer see the deer. But a man pulls a hammer out of his carpenter belt and proceeds to whack the deer atop her head. The man replaces the hammer in its empty loop and they disappear from whence they came.
The cop and deer removal truck finally show up...during this time of patiently waiting...I called my teacher's office because I was missing her class. Hallelujah syllabus in the binder! The cop asks Marta to fill out some paperwork so that she can have the accident covered by her insurance. La-de-da...we want for a long time. Apparently California is a LOT further away from Utah than we previously imagined. When suddenly there's a knock on the driver's window! "Miss, could you step out here? I'd like to discuss somethings with you." So Marta follows the officer to the side of the road.
He exclaims to her that he's not going to write her a citation for the deer. How awfully kind of you officer, seein's how I did not FORCE the deer to run into the highway in front of my car! Then he tells her that there is a warrant for her arrest! "Do you have $152 to post your bail?" Right about this time Marta is wondering if it's April Fool's Day. She doesn't have that kinda money on her...and she starts crying when the cop tells her that he's going to take her in since she doesn't have the dough. Then he looks towards the car and asks who is the passenger? "A friend," she replies. "Oh, is she the kind of friend who would post your bail?" the cop inquires. "*sobbing* I sure hope so!" The whole time I am oblivious and just don't want to ruin my perfect attendance record! Then the knock on my window! "Sondra, there's a warrant for my arrest...do you have $152...?" "Do they take debit?" :)
The cop says he won't put her in handcuffs...instead he'll just follow us to the JAIL!!! "I don't think you will turn this into a high-speed pursuit over $152." WHO DO YOU THINK SHE IS? Precisely! Marta's the type of crazy person that hunts down deer to run them over with her car and then races from police!
We get to the jail and the bail is paid. Marta's free to go...and it's only 10 a.m. Why didn't we just sleep in?

Буррито Гранде почти убил меня! (The Burrito Grande almost killed me!...Literally!)

My bestestest friend in the whole wide world came down from Washington this week! Yippee! I love Lessa! So she calls me up with a planned adventure. I can never say no to planned. Besides...the next time to see each other would probably be her wedding. I was meeting the future Mr. Lessa Farnsworth...aka Andrew. (He passed the screening, bytheway.)
Lessa wanted to go to Temple Square and watch the Joseph Smith movie. Off we go! It was so great to catch up with Lessa. I adore the fact that all of my buddies...though they are buddies in different spheres...can be buddies with one another, too! We walk around the North Visitors' Center for a minute before Lessa discovers that she's going to die of starvation. Marta and I are searching for Ira who's serving on Temple Square. She's from NovoQuibesheva in Samara. We didn't have any luck at the beginning.
So we are on our way to Benihana (it's a Japanese restaurant.) And on the way...and man stops us and asks if we are Mormon. Why, yes we are. He is an American citizen who found the missionaries in Switzerland (or some place)...and he came back here to get baptized. He left his house and BMW there! And he tried to give me the keys. I ALMOST RECEIVED A FREE BMW! He needs to find the mission president...tet, tet, tet...and he gives us the number of the Elders that were workin' with him. He wants us to call them to let them know he arrived safely. The man hadn't slept in two days. And he was all paniced and drama.
Well, we find Benihana...and right beside it is the Blue Iguana (a Mexican restaurant.) We make Lessa pick. She goes with Mexican. Andrew earlier had been tellin' us about this Burrito Grande that was the size of his forearm. If you eat it all...then you get a free dessert. Okay, I'm game.
We all order the Burrito Grande...except for Lessa. (She's a lightweight.) The whole night thereafter ensued with chaos. We sat there for over two hours trying to conquer that burrito the size of a small child. Andrew blew us out of the water and enjoyed his fried ice cream. I got 2/3rds through and decided not to go further. I wasn't feeling dyingly stuffed at the moment...but when I paused for a while...I knew I had made the correct choice. Marta...was SO stinkin' close! With one mouth-full and three more bites to go...she was going to be victorious! Her cheeks were puffed out filled with burrito-y goodness...and suddenly her swallowing mechanism failed! Yes, a tragedy! I was sorely disappointed. Not in her...but definitely in that swallowing mechanism.
We waddled halfway back to Temple Square when Marta realized she'd left her wallet. We looked like pregnant women. I could easily pass as two months along. Yeah, it was THAT serious. There was NOTHING I could do to hide it either. Oh the shame! We retrieved the wallet...and made it back to the Square. We found Ira...and then rested until 7:30pm until the next showing time began. The movie was incredible. Like it is everytime. (I recommend it.) And then we drove home.
Andrew tried to say that other people called dibs on their future basketball team. I corrected him and let him know that I called it WAY before he and Lessa met. Yeah...their kids will be ballas. Or at least tall enough to ball.